We screw up...again.

I have stood in the Devourer and lived. I don't know how many scions can claim that, and I don't want to tempt Fate by ever doing that again. The pure destruction wrought by the ultimate expression of fire left me both horrified and amazed. I have always known what it was I was becoming, a goddess of magic and fire for my pantheon. One who is passionate and understanding and yet will not hesitate, or lack the means, to punish my enemies. For the first time ever I found myself questioning my path. 


I should explain how we got here.

We just fled Artemis' hunters which apparently included Ka, erm Ehekatoyaatl. We made our way to the garden where we defeated Ladon, the hydra dragon who was set to guard it. Rhia asked his corpse about trying to trick Atlas' daughters and he mentioned two beings were playing chess inside as well. Fate revealed it to be Mars and Bellona. This gave us pause and we decided instead to simply walk in and try to speak with them. While my amazing husband saw to a chess game with Mars, Rhia and Wu saw to keeping Bellona distracted. Benji won the game soundly and Mars was forced to take us on a tour. During the tour Kelly and Vana managed to plant the seeds we were given that would steal the tree's power...or so we thought. Just as Rhia counted to ten for Wu and I to 'race to the gate', which would also activate the seeds, the ring Loki gave us transformed to reveal Loki.

Loki took on the Void and we were unable to act as a song played forcing us all into sleep. As the fires of my own anger raged at the betrayal and my own failings I forced myself to stay awake and lept into action as he took on the Devourer. I raced in to grab my friends and brought them to safety, knowing full many of them could never stand the fires that were raging through the garden. Once they were clear of the flames I turned on my heel and charged back in. The seeds were in there...if the trees burned and we didn't have the seeds all would be lost. I shoved my hand into the ground as Kelly's directions flitted into my mind but found nothing...I cast my seeking magic only to have my fears confirmed...Loki illusioned us into thinking we had planted them...they were still with Vana. As I passed Mars, who was charging to face Loki, I bolstered him and sent an apology into his mind...I really need to speak with him again...

As I sent the information to Rhia and rushed back to them, she and Vana hurried to a tree that wasn't yet dying and planted the seeds. Wuyi lept to help protect Rhia and eventually had they had to leave the searing flames. With my ichor thundering through my veins and sped to Vana's side and feverantly willed the flames to leave her alone while she tried to count to ten. When her voice hit ten we heard Loki shout 'No!' and then the fires got worse. Mars' avatar was burnt to a crisp and Loki's attention was fully on us now. Vana dug up the seeds and we fled from the horrible wreckage that was the Garden of Hesperides.  As I ran with Vana in my arms she pulled out the golden key that got us in here and opened the door letting us all out, with a leap from my arms she quickly locked the mad god in the burning garden.  It wasn't till we were out that we realized Kelly was still locked within.


I cannot begin to describe fully how I feel right now.  I have failed in so many ways...we trusted Loki.  Who had been working with Prometheus because Prometheus predicted we would not wish to destroy the garden permanently.  I should have known better, but I was so desperate to get things moving.  All of us were.  We all have concerns outside of these blasted Greeks..and none of them can be confronted until we get those cowards back in the war.  But that doesn't excuse us making poor choices.  And while we salvaged this mess at the last moment I can't help but wonder, at what price?  Kelly is trapped, the garden's destruction will surely fall on our heads...I'm so lost right now, but I can't let the others see it.  I'll speak to Ben of it later, for now we need to focus on getting Kelly out, while keeping Loki in.

Family

It's a funny word, isn't it?  There has been much debate over countless centuries as to what makes family.  Is it the blood you share?  Is it the people who raised you?  Is it the friends you surround yourself with?  Or is it a combination of all three?


Living as a scion only seems to complicate things further.  Now you have an entire race of people to care for and look after.  If you are so inclined to do so.  And so it is with my husband and I.  If I were truly honest about it the people I number as family includes my father, Huitzilopotchli, who was not around to raise me due to being who he is, Benji, my heart and soul whom I would do anything for, my son, who is not yet born but has all of love, and my band, which has recently gotten a new member, Vana, a mother hen type and breath of fresh air.  Beyond that, Benji has the Egyptian people to look after, and now I am looking to my people.  My father is being forced to step down leaving the throne contested by three scions.  One I do not trust out right, a daughter of Tezcatlipoca, a god who haunts my dreams even now.  The other two are unknowns to me, but my father has lead our pantheon well, and I do not agree with the manner of his dethronement.  So I have made the decision to seek his spot myself, to better guide our people.  It is a scary thing, thinking of leading, but I know it is for the best.  


Not so complicated yet, you say?  Well I cannot throw my name in until the Greeks are back in the fight, and my name is cleared of being a traitor.  This task is proving difficult, as we do not want to actually aid the titans, but we must appear to be doing so...oh and we must also not die.  (That tends to put a damper on things.)  Here's the kicker, even once we finish that there is a host of problems arrayed before us.  Benji's people have been taken over by the Keepers, his pantheon kept from their lands.  This is on top of my pending issues with my pantheon.  So who am I to say my problems are more important than his?  He is my husband, his people are my people, and my heart aches for them right now.  But my father is slowly being consumed by the darkness and if he dies, I will have no advocate for me for the throne.  So much plagues my mind, and I am trying to keep myself together, but it is becoming harder and harder as more and more piles on.  I think I will go speak with Vana again.  She has such a calming way about her, I always come away with a better peace of mind.

Fears and Apologies

Benjamin,
 So much has been happening to us lately that we haven't really had time to sit and talk like we did back at Morrigan's mansion.  There was the argument that, even as we were having it, felt like it was something we'd already argued over before.  There was the bomb of my father's illness, the civil war we had to abandon in Cairo followed by the attack by Balor and his Keepers.  I know how hard that was for you to turn your back on and my heart was breaking for you and your people.  It was one of the hardest things I've done, standing there and urging you on, knowing we were abandoning them to Keeper rule.  I don't yet know the outcome, but I will be eternally sorry that we had to that.


There are so many good qualities to you that I sometimes worry all the constant arguing and criticism is going to make it hard for you to see them.  I know our arguing doesn't help things and I don't think I tell you enough how much I need you love you.  You are absolutely my pillar of strength.  When I am feeling the tinges of fear and worry about the future all it takes is one look from your soft, brown eyes or the gentle touch of your had on my arm and I just know that everything will be alright.  No matter what we face I do it with the knowledge you will be by my side, fighting off the darkness.  You are smarter than others give you credit for and always seem to be the calm in the raging storm that can be, Rhia and I.


This latest information on my father and the state of the pantheon has set me on edge far more than I admit to anyone, even you.  The very idea that the Black Tezcatlipoca will have even an ounce of control again scares me more than Balor.  I have always wondered why he is part of the Teotl but I guess, in the end, every pantheon has their "Tezcatlipoca."  I have so very many fears over this.  I fear my father will die and I will lose the man who, quite literally, saved me.  I know how the rest of the world sees him, but for me he will always be my father, the man who fell to his knees when I told him I was having our son.  I fear that I will not be able to claim the throne and yet simultaneously...that I will.  I've lead my father's warriors into battle countless times but leading the pantheon is something entirely different.  I haven't had the experience you or Rhia has had, and I wonder how long I will be able to keep together and no fall flat on my face.  I worry that in taking it I make myself an even bigger target for Tezcatlipoca.  I worry...gods I worry.  I think biggest of all, I worry you will resent me for pushing to save my pantheon from a potential disaster, when your own is facing a civil war.  How hypocritical am I for rushing to save my own, when I pushed to turn our backs on yours?


I hope one day you forgive me for that.  Because I need that right now, and am too afraid to ask it.  The others are waking and you are about to return from patrol so I will end it here.  Know that no matter what comes our way, battles, arguments, loss...I will always love you.  You are my sun, my heart, and my soul.  My blood calls out for you and sings for joy in your presence.


Your loving wife,
Tal.

More talks with Rhia

I have to say, outside of Ben there is no one I trust more than Rhia...and at the same time I know not to trust her.  Rhia's words are like honey on a burn.  They will soothe your soul and she will tell you what you want to hear if it suits her purposes.  

After a talk with Sekhmet, that the Lady Bast interrupted with some tidbits of information, Rhia stepped back and let me try to do the talking...which I of course screwed up, but Wuyi distracted Sekhmet from my blunder which led to her and Rhia being dragged off for some more bloody sex while the rest of us had dinner.  During the dinner a hummingbird appeared in front of me that no one else seemed to see.  It said it had news of my father and I excused myself to my room to speak with it.

He was one of my fallen warriors and he was here against my father's orders, but his loyalty to me was strong for I saved his brother.  He told me that a blow from Mikaboshi seemed to have infected him a few weeks back and he was dimming, weakening.  I knew instantly that this was my fault.  Had I not tried to kill myself, distracting him in battle, this wouldn't have happened.  Worse my father's pride would not let him admit it.  I promised to look into it and do whatever I had to.  He promised to give a message to my father for me and departed.  Alone, I sat there weighing my options and in my heart I suppose I knew what I had to do.  In the end I'm certain that is why I went to Rhia before Ben.

Rhia helped me see that criminals weren't cutting it.  how in the world was I to expect my father to fight off what was effecting him when all I send is the blood of the worthless?  So she took me hunting and the streets ran red with Egyptian blood.  I knew my husband would be furious with me but I had no other choice.  I needed to send my father worthy blood; I promised him I would continue my work so he would know his daughter had not been corrupted and I had failed in that.  When we returned I asked Rhia to come with me to talk to Ben.  I needed her strength to not fold like a cheap suit.  It was a brutal thing to endure, that talk.  A large part of me begged and pleaded to give in.  To ease my husband's pain and disappointment...to swear not to do it again.  I hate to say it, and I still feel horrible about it, but I think we beat him down.  He agreed what I had to do was simply what needed to be done, but it felt like him just giving in and I didn't like that feeling.  In return I agreed, after a tiff over the way he 'requested' it, not to kill anymore of his people.  In the end I made it up to him in the best way I know how, and reminded him once more that I was worth it all.

Finally we returned to the sewers to follow Bast's lead.  There was fighting over a door blocked off to Egyptian gods and whether we should open it..which we had decided to DO before we left.  But this is the band's pattern...and in the end we got snuck up on by creepy cultist type people...yay us!

A talk with Rhia

I think this is the third time I have sat down to try to write this, as I have been having a hard time finding my words lately, but I need to muscle through and record this.  If nothing else the loss of my memories has taught me to always write things down.  Record everything you can, because you never know when some bastard is going to trick you into drinking Lethe water.


So we got on our plane for Cairo and of course we had some minor turbulence...minor in that Zeus sent Erynies to knock our plane out of the sky rather than doing it himself...though I suspect my spell had something to do with that.  Thank Fate.  Rhia and Kelly kept the passengers calm while the rest of frantically tried to keep the plane from crashing into the rapidly approaching city of Cairo.  The experience really hammered home the need to listen to one another and communicate more effectively as we all acted on our own.  Like six separate parts rather than as the team we are supposed to be.  It's really frustrating to see and not have the words to express.  The end result was the plane was miraculously suspended for a moment as we got everyone off of it...but when others let go, Cal couldn't hold it on his own.  Ben and I rushed to try to keep it up and thus keep it from damaging things and by-standers, but it crashed down on top of us, and into the sewers where we found Ben's sigil.


After a slight disagreement on how to proceed we followed the clues and trail to a silenced sacrificial pit that turned out to contain Sekhmet...but someone had weakened her and our newest companion, Nikita, managed to hit her.  She took off running through the sewers but thankfully I easily caught up to her and got her to stop and talk to us...well to Rhia and Ben because I am struggling to find my voice.  Ben managed to piss her off and Rhia soothed the ruffled feathers, leading Sekhmet to take us to her Barge for the night.


After some thoughts, and an inability to fall asleep, I found Rhia covered in drying blood and gore.  A quick taste told me it was human.  After a little small talk I finally told her what was bothering me.  I seemed to be...losing my fire, losing myself.  I had so many thoughts and things I wanted to say but for whatever reason I couldn't articulate them.  I asked for her help and she has promised to give it, and reminded me that I AM a princess of the Teotl, my father rules and in her words I found the spark of my inner passion and I quickly brought it to a roaring blaze.  Rhia voiced the opinion that part of my problem was Ben and I couldn't tell her she was wrong.  This thing with his father, Ben not really putting his foot down, it was smothering me.


Once we had finished I went to my husband and demanded he make a stand.  I told him I had lost myself and that because of it I was losing him, and I refuse to lose him with out fighting not just for him, but for us.  He had stopped talking to me again and was closing himself off from me and I would have none of it anymore. Finally he saw my feelings and what it was all doing to me and asked my forgiveness in what I will only say is easily the hottest sex I have had with this man...oh and his blood tastes marvelous.  In the afterglow of it all he gave me a new name, Broken Wing just didn't fit for who I want to be; and I gave him one as well as named our son and after I pointed out his family's views on reincarnation made us technically no longer married he lept at the idea of remarrying.  


In the span of a few hours I went from ready to walk away from the stubborn man that I love, to finding my fire again.  Woe be to those who get in my way.

Learning to cope...just in time.

Memories are a funny thing.  You never know how important they are until they are gone...and when you get them back sometimes...just sometimes you may think you were better off without them.  I'm not going to bother you with details of how my husband and I regained them but I can tell you a bit of what they contained.


Let me start with the fact we experienced each others memories as one.  Both of us viewing all of them together. We saw our births which I found my father was actually present for and our growing up years.  Ben's were filled with training it seems while mine...mine was one of horrors.  It's one thing to know what happened to you but to experience it again...it's another thing entirely.  Especially when you find the horrors you knew about were only followed by years of more and often times worse horrors.


However a funny thing happened, not only did my father save me from the hell hole I was in he helped me to overcome it.  One by one I buried my past traumas away until I was bleeding out an felt all the poisons of my growing up years flush from my system and my father kissed my forehead and I finally had a peaceful sleep.  


There was a memory of Rhia and I together in New Orleans, searching for some horses.  It was after a fight that I learned of her geas and we did eventually make up and enjoyed the rest of the celebrations together.  Another memory with her but this time introducing Wuyi to the mix.  Rhia and I having parted ways to go about our missions separately, we fought the Cipactli's children.  When the battle ended we celebrated on a terra incognita filled with alcohol and beautiful, strong men and women and that started our bond.


More memories of battles, with the full band this times, fighting ice giants.  A memory of a palace in which Kahlia, Kelly, sneezed and it echoed, and the King of some lessor heaven shouted for his guardians to seize us for offending him.  It seemed it was soon after Ben's inclusion cause I got the feeling Wu and Rhia were still weary of taking his leadership but when he suggested we split up, they agreed with a shug and charged the guardians as Ben's hand wrapped around my wrist and suddenly I didn't seem to care what the others were doing as Ben tugged me through twists and turns until we were in a quiet room with a koi pond and the soft play of music in the air. I turned and Ben's staring at me so oddly that I had to ask what was wrong before the memory swirled away into the fog. 


As for Ben's memories I will leave those to him to discuss but suffice it to say I think even though I now know the hells I went through, in greater detail, I can more easily move past them. My husband, gods bless him, loves me with a fierceness matched only by myself, he accepts me with my horrid past and through his strength I am certain I can push past this.


One last thing...Morrigan threw a party that Horus showed up to with out relics and Hathor. Ben and I may retain our relics if he fulfills his arranged marriage with Hathor. It boiled my blood to see how she looked at my husband and to hear Horus dare to speak of duty and traditions but I kept my temper. I clung to my husband and let him speak his peace only occasionally adding my own input. The conversation was put on hold for the dinner where Dionysus informed us Artemis would hunt us as enemies of the Greeks and his son, Rupper was offered amnesty if he would leave us. As a last bit we found out it was Alicia, Ben's daughter, who snuck Prometheus' brother into the underworld and orchestrated our escape.  


Bloody hell things will never be simple will they?

Of dying...and why Wuyi is so awesome.

A door bursts open and Cal come flapping out, more hurt than I have ever seen him.  A wing is broken and he scrambles across the top of the building.  Seeing my own death in him I lept down to force him safely into me.  When I turn there are four armed human guards chasing him.  I scared one away, and the other four opened fire.  Their bullets slammed into me, nearly knocked me from the roof, but I'm a touch bitch that way and the spray of bullets did nothing.  I then kicked a ball of fire at one, turning his armor molten slag and melting away his flesh.  The other two alerted back up and I threw two more blazing balls of fire at them.  I looked up at my brother and told him to stay put, I was going for my husband, then I ran into the building.  People didn't seem to notice me as the building was panicked but then a Keeper stepped out and looked right at me.  I skidded to a halt, turned on my heel and ran as fast I possibly could back to the roof, cursing in frustration.


The Keeper however did not follow and as I burst onto the roof another Keeper lands and advances on me...with Ben right behind him.  I felt a wave of relief at having finally found my husband soon followed by anger that he left without warning...but we had a Keeper to deal with.  Ben slashed out it with his sword only to watch in horror as it bounce right off the Keeper.  The Keeper turned his attentions to Ben and I channeled my anger as my hands blazed in fury and I pressed them into it's armor and forced the fire to flow over it, turning it's armor into a dripping, melting mess and cooking it's flesh.


But it wasn't enough and the Keeper lashed out at Ben with alarming speed sending my husband tumbling back 20 yards.  As Ben recovered and took aim with a gun I turned up the heat and continued to cook the flesh of the Keeper, the metal cooling and making it hard for him to move about.  The metal shattered revealing the blue skin of the formorian we knew them to be, and it grabbed me by my face and leg, pulled me taut and smashed my back on it's knee.  I felt nearly every bone in my back break and heard a stream of bullets strike it.  As it fell I felt Ben's arms come around me as I channeled my ichor to heal my own wounds.  But it wasn't over yet.  Soldiers suddenly came pouring out of the building ordering us to stand down.  They swarmed over us and Ben began to glow.  I lit my hands on fire again and threw two balls at the men and then they released their guns on us.  As Ben was rising the bullets tore through him and I knew true fear.  Fear that I would lose my husband, the father of my unborn child.  My fury raged and I burned through man after man to reach where he fell and I heard Rupper's voice singing in the background.  I fell to my knees by him and all he asked was if I was safe as Wuyi worked her magic to save my beloved.  I assured him I was and then we noticed 3 black helicopters headed our way.  Wuyi gave me a quick report on Ben's condition and the helicopters released their payload.  I did a quick calculation and realized they were going to hit the parking lot.  I got Ben into the litter and told Wu and Rupper to get Ben and meet us at Rupper's bar, where apparently Kelly was waiting.


On the way there I finally got to talk to Ben.  He said he left me there to protect me and our child.  He wanted me out of harms way but instead he put me in greater danger.  This city is not safe for scions and he had to know I would follow him.  When he tried to pull his macho shit again I reminded him that I am the daughter of the great Huitzilopotchli and this is not how we wanted to go about having our family but it was how it was happening.  Seeing no end to the argument I switched subjects and told him of my father's plan.  In the end we were simply both glad the other was safe. 


Johnathan helped Ben into a booth and we talked some more, relaxing in my husbands arms was a slice of heaven in all the hell of the day.  After a few beers Ben went to ask if there was a room we could slip into.  After getting a key and finding it...well, let's just say my husband is my perfect match in every way.