Some wounds go deeper than memory.

So there we were with a dead hag, sleeping puppy, and injured stallion.  Wuyi, Ben and myself carried the horse back on a slab only for the group to realize we left Rupper singing to Cerberus and the body of the hag could be used for Mann to talk to her spirit.  Also Kathy had been left on the beach.  *sigh*  Rhia, Wuyi, and Kelly went for Kathy, after Ben told Kelly to go with them...I still don't know what is with that girl...and he and I went for the body and Rupper.  I grabbed the hag and we quickly and quietly made our way out of there.  We were doing well until I stepped on a branch and it snapped.  Cerberus awoke and Ben ordered us to run while he distracted Cerberus.  


When we got to Mann he told us his house would be safe so Rupper and I went in only to find the others had not returned.  So I set off to find them and bring them back only to see them standing on the beach with no Kathy...fucking wonderful.Rhia could hear something and I told them about Cerberus...which of course fell on deaf ears yet again...and cast my tracking spell.  The thread of Fate...and Rhia suddenly disappeared.  I stepped forward to follow it and we found a campfire with little people playing music and Kathy dancing.  Wuyi and Kelly followed and one of them stepped up and invited us to dance...but it wasn't an invite it was a compulsion.  I fought it off and started punching the band.  No way in hell was I going to let them compel me to do anything.  Wuyi and Rhia however fell under the spell and were 'dancing'.  Kelly tried talking with the guy but I had finally hit enough of them to get the music to stop, and with it Rhia, Wuyi and Kathy to stop.  Then there was a howl...and another....and another.  Cerberus was coming!  I grabbed Kelly and Wuyi grabbed Rhia and Kathy and we took off.  I zoomed right around him, Wuyi lept over him, and he fell face first into the ground in front of one of the jug players who managed to play enough of a toon to make him sleep.  I didn't care we just kept going and made it to the house the same time Mona was helping a burned Mann in.  And then the fight began.


I honestly do not remember how it started.  We were discussing Kathy and whether she should be brought to life or returned to Cerberus.  It was heated sure but it wasn't ugly at first.  I'm pretty sure I got the first snarky comment in...and it steam rolled from there.  With me snidely commenting on Wuyi and Rhia's whorish activities, and selfish natures.   I asked about Ben's curse being lifted and Rhia said something to the effect of me having to whore myself out and I exploded.  I lunged for her and Wuyi stepped between us I screamed that I was no whore, that I don't sleep with my sister's father, that I sleep with no one but my husband.  Mann did not seem happy that Rhia had slept with my father but she said he knew why she had to and he backed down a little.  I felt my reserves of strength giving out, I could not hold it all in any longer.  I cried then...tears fell as I screamed about how she wasted a question to get in his bed without a single thought for me, her sister.  I trusted her implicitly.  I collapsed to the floor sobbing out everything I had held in.  I couldn't stop, I couldn't move and heard the others leaving to get horses as Mann had told us too but even trying to return to life could not make me move.  I loved Rhia, she was my sister, and yet even now she did nothing but stomp on my heart saying she couldn't break oaths even for me.  Soon Wuyi came back in and tried to comfort me, saying Rhia had to.  Apologizing for them both and saying they didn't know.  I just sobbed that neither even stopped to think how it would effect anyone else.  She tried to blame the lack of memories and Ben came in urging me to rise and deal with this later.  I looked up and I think I saw some disappointment in his gaze so I composed myself as best I could and told Wuyi that Rhiannon cared not for me, so I would try to not care for her.  Kelly game me a hug and I went out to see that Ben and Wuyi had both brought horses for me.  While Wuyi's was pretty, Ben had selected a strong, almost arrogant looking mare that made me smile inside even though I was crying.  She was perfect.  Mann said we would be horses for a day and then awake as human again.  Ben trusted him so I decided to too.  


Ben ad I spent the day running and jumping things and he did his best to keep my mind off the blowup.  When we awoke the next morning we were human again.  I lept into his arms, tackling him to the ground and kissed him with a great hunger I had only felt in a dimmer sense as a ghost.  Eventually I decided to sit down and chat with Fate about why I was reacting as I did to Rhiannon sleeping with my father and found something that may have been better off forgotten.  My mortal father abused and raped my sister and when she left he turned to me.  I asked why Rhiannon "had to do it" and was told she was cursed with promiscuity and to fail in it she would become frail.  It doesn't erase her flippant attitude towards my feelings, nor does it erase the pain of what she did or even excuse it, but at least now I have some reason to it.  I asked if it could be lifted and was answered in the affirmative.  I asked if my parents and sister still lived and was also told yes to those.  I'm not certain how I feel about that.  


At least now I know why I hurt so badly over it all.  Knowing the source hasn't erased any of the pain but at least I don't feel like an overly emotional idiot.  Seems my father named me properly, Xamantalpalli, Broken Wing.  I'm going to talk to Ben now about this. 

Who let the dogs out?

I'm really starting to worry about this wound.  It is refusing to heal and one misstep could kill me.  So Mann had walked in and after some chatter with Rhia told us he could help us...but we needed to do a quest.  He wanted his prized horse back from the smarter than normal wolves.  This seemed easy enough and Rhia made the mistake of saying that out loud....I swear to the gods she needs to learn to put a filter on that mouth!  


Ben noticed my being quiet I guess, because he picked me up and took my outside, flying up into the sky.  I know I should have told him how bad the wound was but for the moment I was enjoying being in his arms with nothing but our birds challenging each other.  He got a little cheesy which made me chuckle softly, and even that made the wound throb.  He let me fly next to him and remarked on me learning one day.  I said maybe, after all I had him for my taxi.  Then he let me dangle from his arms and I pulled myself up to kiss him.  I love this man.  I don't know why, and I have no doubt it took us a while to get to that point before, but I love him, I'd give anything for him.  I remarked the others were ready to go and he brought me down to them, letting me run with them as we got to the trees.


We reached the cave and there were wolves outside guarding it.  It was decided Rupper would cause a distraction since he could talk to them and Ben, Kelly, and Wu would go inside.  I felt a few odd pangs at that.  Normally I'm the one going in, not Kelly and I felt hurt I wasn't included...then I felt a weird pang of...jealousy?  Kelly seemed to be getting closer to Ben as of late what with having her spider follow him so often and giggling at things he said that were not humorous nor meant to be, and now she was going in the cave when she is largely useless in combat since her gun can't do anything.  I mean I know Rupper basically ignored her, and Rhia doesn't want that complication but Ben and I are most certainly exclusive.  I'm no good at reading people...if I ever speak with Rhia again I'll have to get her opinion.


I started to back off into the woods feeling absolutely useless and in the way.  In my state all I was, was a worry for the others, a reason for them to be more careful and less daring.  In no time I heard the wolves fighting each other and assumed the three of them made it in...and then I saw six red eyes, and it wasn't wolves....it was Cerberus!  I panicked and went to tell the others backpedaling right into Rhia.  It took me three times to get her to listen to my words, as usual, that Kelly had indeed seen the dog and he was here.  But the warning was too late as Cerberus stepped into the clearing.  Rex, Rupper's puppy, growled at Cerberus who happened to be his daddy, and was swatted against the tree for his troubles.  I had a moment of terror before dashing off to get the dog to follow me but he grabbed for Rupper and swatted Rhia into the mud before I threw everything I had into insulting him and he finally cam bounding after me, Rupper dangling in two mouths.  I poured my all into running and weaving through the trees and found I was indeed faster.  I sent Cal to tell Ben what was happening and when I saw Ben deciding to come help I told Cal to tell him I had it handled.  I also saw Wu hanging from a kris stuck in a ugly blue hag of a woman.  Rhia grabbed Rupper's guitar and started to play and sing and Rupper joined in and soon Cerberus was asleep.  I tried to pry Rupper out carefully and managed to only wake one head which Rupper quickly put back to sleep.


Suddenly the Hag burst from the cave followed by Ben who flew in front of her and caught her in his gaze and she froze.  Wuyi was hanging on but something was wrong.  She couldn't seem to finish the job.  A rock flew from the cave and hit the hag's knee causing it to buckle and her to fall and the kris to finish her off but not before she cursed my husband.  I really hope it didn't have any weight but I know better than to put too much into that.  Gods I just want to live again.  I want to know why I'm so messed up.