Fears and Apologies

Benjamin,
 So much has been happening to us lately that we haven't really had time to sit and talk like we did back at Morrigan's mansion.  There was the argument that, even as we were having it, felt like it was something we'd already argued over before.  There was the bomb of my father's illness, the civil war we had to abandon in Cairo followed by the attack by Balor and his Keepers.  I know how hard that was for you to turn your back on and my heart was breaking for you and your people.  It was one of the hardest things I've done, standing there and urging you on, knowing we were abandoning them to Keeper rule.  I don't yet know the outcome, but I will be eternally sorry that we had to that.


There are so many good qualities to you that I sometimes worry all the constant arguing and criticism is going to make it hard for you to see them.  I know our arguing doesn't help things and I don't think I tell you enough how much I need you love you.  You are absolutely my pillar of strength.  When I am feeling the tinges of fear and worry about the future all it takes is one look from your soft, brown eyes or the gentle touch of your had on my arm and I just know that everything will be alright.  No matter what we face I do it with the knowledge you will be by my side, fighting off the darkness.  You are smarter than others give you credit for and always seem to be the calm in the raging storm that can be, Rhia and I.


This latest information on my father and the state of the pantheon has set me on edge far more than I admit to anyone, even you.  The very idea that the Black Tezcatlipoca will have even an ounce of control again scares me more than Balor.  I have always wondered why he is part of the Teotl but I guess, in the end, every pantheon has their "Tezcatlipoca."  I have so very many fears over this.  I fear my father will die and I will lose the man who, quite literally, saved me.  I know how the rest of the world sees him, but for me he will always be my father, the man who fell to his knees when I told him I was having our son.  I fear that I will not be able to claim the throne and yet simultaneously...that I will.  I've lead my father's warriors into battle countless times but leading the pantheon is something entirely different.  I haven't had the experience you or Rhia has had, and I wonder how long I will be able to keep together and no fall flat on my face.  I worry that in taking it I make myself an even bigger target for Tezcatlipoca.  I worry...gods I worry.  I think biggest of all, I worry you will resent me for pushing to save my pantheon from a potential disaster, when your own is facing a civil war.  How hypocritical am I for rushing to save my own, when I pushed to turn our backs on yours?


I hope one day you forgive me for that.  Because I need that right now, and am too afraid to ask it.  The others are waking and you are about to return from patrol so I will end it here.  Know that no matter what comes our way, battles, arguments, loss...I will always love you.  You are my sun, my heart, and my soul.  My blood calls out for you and sings for joy in your presence.


Your loving wife,
Tal.

More talks with Rhia

I have to say, outside of Ben there is no one I trust more than Rhia...and at the same time I know not to trust her.  Rhia's words are like honey on a burn.  They will soothe your soul and she will tell you what you want to hear if it suits her purposes.  

After a talk with Sekhmet, that the Lady Bast interrupted with some tidbits of information, Rhia stepped back and let me try to do the talking...which I of course screwed up, but Wuyi distracted Sekhmet from my blunder which led to her and Rhia being dragged off for some more bloody sex while the rest of us had dinner.  During the dinner a hummingbird appeared in front of me that no one else seemed to see.  It said it had news of my father and I excused myself to my room to speak with it.

He was one of my fallen warriors and he was here against my father's orders, but his loyalty to me was strong for I saved his brother.  He told me that a blow from Mikaboshi seemed to have infected him a few weeks back and he was dimming, weakening.  I knew instantly that this was my fault.  Had I not tried to kill myself, distracting him in battle, this wouldn't have happened.  Worse my father's pride would not let him admit it.  I promised to look into it and do whatever I had to.  He promised to give a message to my father for me and departed.  Alone, I sat there weighing my options and in my heart I suppose I knew what I had to do.  In the end I'm certain that is why I went to Rhia before Ben.

Rhia helped me see that criminals weren't cutting it.  how in the world was I to expect my father to fight off what was effecting him when all I send is the blood of the worthless?  So she took me hunting and the streets ran red with Egyptian blood.  I knew my husband would be furious with me but I had no other choice.  I needed to send my father worthy blood; I promised him I would continue my work so he would know his daughter had not been corrupted and I had failed in that.  When we returned I asked Rhia to come with me to talk to Ben.  I needed her strength to not fold like a cheap suit.  It was a brutal thing to endure, that talk.  A large part of me begged and pleaded to give in.  To ease my husband's pain and disappointment...to swear not to do it again.  I hate to say it, and I still feel horrible about it, but I think we beat him down.  He agreed what I had to do was simply what needed to be done, but it felt like him just giving in and I didn't like that feeling.  In return I agreed, after a tiff over the way he 'requested' it, not to kill anymore of his people.  In the end I made it up to him in the best way I know how, and reminded him once more that I was worth it all.

Finally we returned to the sewers to follow Bast's lead.  There was fighting over a door blocked off to Egyptian gods and whether we should open it..which we had decided to DO before we left.  But this is the band's pattern...and in the end we got snuck up on by creepy cultist type people...yay us!

A talk with Rhia

I think this is the third time I have sat down to try to write this, as I have been having a hard time finding my words lately, but I need to muscle through and record this.  If nothing else the loss of my memories has taught me to always write things down.  Record everything you can, because you never know when some bastard is going to trick you into drinking Lethe water.


So we got on our plane for Cairo and of course we had some minor turbulence...minor in that Zeus sent Erynies to knock our plane out of the sky rather than doing it himself...though I suspect my spell had something to do with that.  Thank Fate.  Rhia and Kelly kept the passengers calm while the rest of frantically tried to keep the plane from crashing into the rapidly approaching city of Cairo.  The experience really hammered home the need to listen to one another and communicate more effectively as we all acted on our own.  Like six separate parts rather than as the team we are supposed to be.  It's really frustrating to see and not have the words to express.  The end result was the plane was miraculously suspended for a moment as we got everyone off of it...but when others let go, Cal couldn't hold it on his own.  Ben and I rushed to try to keep it up and thus keep it from damaging things and by-standers, but it crashed down on top of us, and into the sewers where we found Ben's sigil.


After a slight disagreement on how to proceed we followed the clues and trail to a silenced sacrificial pit that turned out to contain Sekhmet...but someone had weakened her and our newest companion, Nikita, managed to hit her.  She took off running through the sewers but thankfully I easily caught up to her and got her to stop and talk to us...well to Rhia and Ben because I am struggling to find my voice.  Ben managed to piss her off and Rhia soothed the ruffled feathers, leading Sekhmet to take us to her Barge for the night.


After some thoughts, and an inability to fall asleep, I found Rhia covered in drying blood and gore.  A quick taste told me it was human.  After a little small talk I finally told her what was bothering me.  I seemed to be...losing my fire, losing myself.  I had so many thoughts and things I wanted to say but for whatever reason I couldn't articulate them.  I asked for her help and she has promised to give it, and reminded me that I AM a princess of the Teotl, my father rules and in her words I found the spark of my inner passion and I quickly brought it to a roaring blaze.  Rhia voiced the opinion that part of my problem was Ben and I couldn't tell her she was wrong.  This thing with his father, Ben not really putting his foot down, it was smothering me.


Once we had finished I went to my husband and demanded he make a stand.  I told him I had lost myself and that because of it I was losing him, and I refuse to lose him with out fighting not just for him, but for us.  He had stopped talking to me again and was closing himself off from me and I would have none of it anymore. Finally he saw my feelings and what it was all doing to me and asked my forgiveness in what I will only say is easily the hottest sex I have had with this man...oh and his blood tastes marvelous.  In the afterglow of it all he gave me a new name, Broken Wing just didn't fit for who I want to be; and I gave him one as well as named our son and after I pointed out his family's views on reincarnation made us technically no longer married he lept at the idea of remarrying.  


In the span of a few hours I went from ready to walk away from the stubborn man that I love, to finding my fire again.  Woe be to those who get in my way.

Learning to cope...just in time.

Memories are a funny thing.  You never know how important they are until they are gone...and when you get them back sometimes...just sometimes you may think you were better off without them.  I'm not going to bother you with details of how my husband and I regained them but I can tell you a bit of what they contained.


Let me start with the fact we experienced each others memories as one.  Both of us viewing all of them together. We saw our births which I found my father was actually present for and our growing up years.  Ben's were filled with training it seems while mine...mine was one of horrors.  It's one thing to know what happened to you but to experience it again...it's another thing entirely.  Especially when you find the horrors you knew about were only followed by years of more and often times worse horrors.


However a funny thing happened, not only did my father save me from the hell hole I was in he helped me to overcome it.  One by one I buried my past traumas away until I was bleeding out an felt all the poisons of my growing up years flush from my system and my father kissed my forehead and I finally had a peaceful sleep.  


There was a memory of Rhia and I together in New Orleans, searching for some horses.  It was after a fight that I learned of her geas and we did eventually make up and enjoyed the rest of the celebrations together.  Another memory with her but this time introducing Wuyi to the mix.  Rhia and I having parted ways to go about our missions separately, we fought the Cipactli's children.  When the battle ended we celebrated on a terra incognita filled with alcohol and beautiful, strong men and women and that started our bond.


More memories of battles, with the full band this times, fighting ice giants.  A memory of a palace in which Kahlia, Kelly, sneezed and it echoed, and the King of some lessor heaven shouted for his guardians to seize us for offending him.  It seemed it was soon after Ben's inclusion cause I got the feeling Wu and Rhia were still weary of taking his leadership but when he suggested we split up, they agreed with a shug and charged the guardians as Ben's hand wrapped around my wrist and suddenly I didn't seem to care what the others were doing as Ben tugged me through twists and turns until we were in a quiet room with a koi pond and the soft play of music in the air. I turned and Ben's staring at me so oddly that I had to ask what was wrong before the memory swirled away into the fog. 


As for Ben's memories I will leave those to him to discuss but suffice it to say I think even though I now know the hells I went through, in greater detail, I can more easily move past them. My husband, gods bless him, loves me with a fierceness matched only by myself, he accepts me with my horrid past and through his strength I am certain I can push past this.


One last thing...Morrigan threw a party that Horus showed up to with out relics and Hathor. Ben and I may retain our relics if he fulfills his arranged marriage with Hathor. It boiled my blood to see how she looked at my husband and to hear Horus dare to speak of duty and traditions but I kept my temper. I clung to my husband and let him speak his peace only occasionally adding my own input. The conversation was put on hold for the dinner where Dionysus informed us Artemis would hunt us as enemies of the Greeks and his son, Rupper was offered amnesty if he would leave us. As a last bit we found out it was Alicia, Ben's daughter, who snuck Prometheus' brother into the underworld and orchestrated our escape.  


Bloody hell things will never be simple will they?

Of dying...and why Wuyi is so awesome.

A door bursts open and Cal come flapping out, more hurt than I have ever seen him.  A wing is broken and he scrambles across the top of the building.  Seeing my own death in him I lept down to force him safely into me.  When I turn there are four armed human guards chasing him.  I scared one away, and the other four opened fire.  Their bullets slammed into me, nearly knocked me from the roof, but I'm a touch bitch that way and the spray of bullets did nothing.  I then kicked a ball of fire at one, turning his armor molten slag and melting away his flesh.  The other two alerted back up and I threw two more blazing balls of fire at them.  I looked up at my brother and told him to stay put, I was going for my husband, then I ran into the building.  People didn't seem to notice me as the building was panicked but then a Keeper stepped out and looked right at me.  I skidded to a halt, turned on my heel and ran as fast I possibly could back to the roof, cursing in frustration.


The Keeper however did not follow and as I burst onto the roof another Keeper lands and advances on me...with Ben right behind him.  I felt a wave of relief at having finally found my husband soon followed by anger that he left without warning...but we had a Keeper to deal with.  Ben slashed out it with his sword only to watch in horror as it bounce right off the Keeper.  The Keeper turned his attentions to Ben and I channeled my anger as my hands blazed in fury and I pressed them into it's armor and forced the fire to flow over it, turning it's armor into a dripping, melting mess and cooking it's flesh.


But it wasn't enough and the Keeper lashed out at Ben with alarming speed sending my husband tumbling back 20 yards.  As Ben recovered and took aim with a gun I turned up the heat and continued to cook the flesh of the Keeper, the metal cooling and making it hard for him to move about.  The metal shattered revealing the blue skin of the formorian we knew them to be, and it grabbed me by my face and leg, pulled me taut and smashed my back on it's knee.  I felt nearly every bone in my back break and heard a stream of bullets strike it.  As it fell I felt Ben's arms come around me as I channeled my ichor to heal my own wounds.  But it wasn't over yet.  Soldiers suddenly came pouring out of the building ordering us to stand down.  They swarmed over us and Ben began to glow.  I lit my hands on fire again and threw two balls at the men and then they released their guns on us.  As Ben was rising the bullets tore through him and I knew true fear.  Fear that I would lose my husband, the father of my unborn child.  My fury raged and I burned through man after man to reach where he fell and I heard Rupper's voice singing in the background.  I fell to my knees by him and all he asked was if I was safe as Wuyi worked her magic to save my beloved.  I assured him I was and then we noticed 3 black helicopters headed our way.  Wuyi gave me a quick report on Ben's condition and the helicopters released their payload.  I did a quick calculation and realized they were going to hit the parking lot.  I got Ben into the litter and told Wu and Rupper to get Ben and meet us at Rupper's bar, where apparently Kelly was waiting.


On the way there I finally got to talk to Ben.  He said he left me there to protect me and our child.  He wanted me out of harms way but instead he put me in greater danger.  This city is not safe for scions and he had to know I would follow him.  When he tried to pull his macho shit again I reminded him that I am the daughter of the great Huitzilopotchli and this is not how we wanted to go about having our family but it was how it was happening.  Seeing no end to the argument I switched subjects and told him of my father's plan.  In the end we were simply both glad the other was safe. 


Johnathan helped Ben into a booth and we talked some more, relaxing in my husbands arms was a slice of heaven in all the hell of the day.  After a few beers Ben went to ask if there was a room we could slip into.  After getting a key and finding it...well, let's just say my husband is my perfect match in every way.

Can't even get a simple haircut...

So after all the drama passed we made our way through the sewers and came to a nasty shit filled it with a downed bridge.  Ben flew down to lift it and Wuyi helped hold it as a tentacled monster started to come from the piss water.  I blasted it's eye with my fire, channeling all my rage and pain and confusion and worry into the blast feeling the emotions fuel the fir as Rhia froze the water around the thing and the rest of the group and Rhia's herd crossed before Ben dropped the bridge.  A boy opened the door but slammed it on us and Rhia and Wu seduced him into opening it for us.  I have to admit I am jealous of how free they are about things like that.  My love for Ben aside I don't think I could ever be like that.  


Once outside Wuyi's raven went to deliver it's message only to return shortly. This caused an argument between her and Rhia about the bird telling the truth and I just blocked it out.  I felt the shock wearing off of all the revelations and lept at the chance to chase off some thugs who were hassling an old woman...turns out that was Morrigan and she told up more of what was happening.  My father had warriors in the city looking for me and Morrigan, Oghun, Susan-o and my father were generals in the war effort.  The Greeks had signed a non-aggression treaty the day we bound the titan...but now that titan is free and the Greeks won't break their pact.  The Aesir have mostly removed themselves for fear of Ragnarok.  The plan is for us to get our memories out of the warehouse for they are strategically important, rescue the Captain who is a scion of Balder  unvisitied of course, and then make us look like villains....and oh yeah Rhia can only have her memories if she gives her love and devotion to her...


Realing from all this somehow it was decided Rhia and Wuyi would go with Morrigan for a time and the rest of us were going for haircuts and to get cleaned up.  When I was done I found they had left me there...WHAT.  THE.  FUCK.  SERIOUSLY?  My own husband leaves me alone in a strange fucking city, filled with people trying to hunt us down, while I'm pregnant?  Oh his ass is gonna pay for this shit.  I kept calm until I realized I had given all the money to him...double fuck. Thankfully the barber agreed to let me return with money and when I stepped outside I noticed someone watching me.  After confirming he was following me I led him down and ally and turned on him to demand answers.  (Remind me to shoot first next time, it's less stressful.)  Turns out he is my half brother, newly visited and set to the task of bringing me to father...on pain of death.  Curse him, my father knows me way to well.  Now I couldn't kill him, and I couldn't let him BE killed so I got in a litter with him and off we went to daddy's shining palace.


In no mood for ritual or protacal I demanded to see my father.  I was pleased to see father had causght the son of a bitch who tried to kill us during our escape and he was roasting over a cooking fire in eternal torment.  Soon after being brought to the sitting room father sweapt in and slammed the doors demanding to know why I tried to kill myself.  I told him I was trying to save my band, that I did not mean as much as their lives did and knew I had to go big to try to get his attention and help.  He disagreed but we didn't have time to continue that argument and he moved on.  We discussed what had happened since we broke out of Hades...I believe his exact word were " You broke Prometheus out of their prison. You made them look like fools by negating the biggest reason for signing the non-aggression pact in the first place. You cut a whole out of their underworld into the living realm and allowed their ghosts to escape for hours. You humiliated their trusted Cerberus with a bottle-blowing brownie. You forced you way out of the Burning Palace. You let them capture an unvisited Scion. Your memories are going to be responsable for the corruption that that Shabti. Everything you have done shows the Greeks that you are terrible people. "  I protested that we didn't know any of it because the GREEKS were not vigilant enough.  Had Prometheus' brother not gotten in and stolen our memories we would still be guarding the Shabti in their underworld, as was our duty.  Then he dropped another bomb " Your friends are perfect for the job we have in mind. Convince the Greeks that you have sided with the Titans. That your time in the underworld with the Shabti has corrupted you. Commit tragedy upon the Greeks until they are forced to break the treaty and side with us in the war against the Titans. At this point it may be the only way to keep you safe because they are coming for you. Pretending to side with the titans will at least give them pause. "  I asked then what of us should it all succeed.  He said he would do his best to defend us and hope cooler heads like Athena's would prevail and get them to back off.


I asked for a favor then.  I asked him to do whatever it took, even giving me over to the Greeks, if it meant saving my child.  At that the god before me melted into that of my father and he fell to his knee, wrapped me in his arms and hugged me and said this time everything would turn out alright, even if he has to demand it of the fates.  Then I made two more requests: one to not sleep with Rhia again as I didn't think I could handle that again, and one for her memories he had purchased.  Looking back I should have asked why he had hers and not mine, but I wasn't thinking about me at that point.  Then he took Johnathan's memories of our talk and said " You will take him when you leave, and when you do you shall destroy as much of my beloved palace as you can and 'escape' my terrible clutches a second time upon the golden litter that was left outside.   I'm going to chase you to the ends of the earth and punish you for your terrible transgression. Please try to avoid destroying the picture of your mother in the hallway. "  And I was off dragging Johnathan with me.  I threw him on my back and we made it to the litter and I must say it was some fun setting the palace on fir and especially firing off a lance of fire at numbnuts on the spit.  With a lot of effort and bumbling we got the litter going and to NY where I followed a thread of Fate to Ben.  I sent cal in to find him and asked Johnathan what he remembered.  I watched cal circle the building and find a vent to get into and he mind whispered that the room had four Keeper's in it but they had heard his claws on the metal...SHIT!

Fate shakes things up a bit...

I should have learned by now that Fate will never let a scion stay happy for long.  Never.  It was still a day till we reached NYC so I decided to be productive and went to try one last time to settle things with Rhia.  This time it went so much better than the first time.  First off there was no one else there with us and while I love Ben dearly and have grown to care for Wuyi too...they would have made it worse.  I explained to her, better this time, that I didn't want an apology for her sleeping with my father.  I honestly understand she had to.  What killed me was her treating my feelings like they were nothing..like I was nothing to her.  As is her way, Rhia apologized without doing so but I know it was there and I felt us immediately fall back into place.


Soon enough though we were pulling into NYC and after much round about and a chat with our dark skinned benefactor, who sadly was NOT eaten by sharks, it was decided we would let the horses be unloaded so as to not get the ship in trouble, and he would whisk us and the horses away.  But as Rhia went to inform the horses a funny thing happened...Ben and I noticed Wuyi was being..pouty and elbowed a filly Rhia had been stroking out of the way.  Wuyi was jealous of the attention Rhia was giving the herd!  It was both ludacris and funny all at once and I knew the feeling well.  I really need to discuss boundaries with Kelly at some point...


So we met in the cargo hold and the ramp lowered to reveal a warehouse with two Keepers and a short fat man...and a Magic holding circle made of coral.  We convinced we were the ones to unload the horses and Rhia told the herd not to enter it.  Then a thin filly started for the fat man hunger plain in her eye.  Rhia decided to let her apparently and honestly I agreed with her.  This man worked with Keepers.  He deserved what he got.  He turned to run but another horse and circled behind him and the filly quickly took a chunk out of him.  Wuyi on the other hand did not agree with this and yanked the man to safety and bound his wound in an uncharacteristically defiant act.  Meanwhile the Keepers watched as Eli ran into the ship to tell the captain they needed to leave then to each other and started to leave.  Ben quickly followed and Kelly, of course, was right on his heels...I swear if she ever touches him I will take her heart without even thinking about it...sorry for that, the girl grinds on my nerves.  Then several things happened.  Rhia ordered the little man to go away, our dark skinned friend engulfed the area in a thick darkness....gods I hate not being able to see but at least I knew where everything was...and the Keepers were sniffing at Ben and Kelly!  I shouted for him to get back to us as we were leaving and right after I heard the Keeper say they smelled like Enbarr...they smelled like gods.  Blessedly Kelly and Ben made it to use and we were whisked away into...


...a sewer.  A nasty, stinky sewer.  The man led us to a dry chamber with a wooden door guarded by a 13yr old boy.  I used some of my divine power to make myself clean and Rhia used some water she carries about to clean herself and the horses.  When we were ready the boy opened the door and it was absolute darkness...fuck I hate this, but with Ben holding firmly onto my hand we stepped into it and waited as the door closed.  Belgaretes informed us he had some memories still to sell but the rest was sold to others.  Some of it he could tell us who had them...others had paid for his silence.  After much round and round we decided that unnamed favors were worth the memories and names.  Wu's were in the hands of her father...all of them. Rhia's were in the hands of Morrigan, Dionysus, and my father...and that made me incredibly nervous and weary and sent a kick to my gut but I ignored it.  I love Rhia, she's my bro, and I'll do what I have to, to help her get her memories back...all of them.  Kelly's were bought by someone she trusted and enshrined in a shrine dedicated to her memory.  He made the strands he had appear and I couldn't help myself I reached for mine...


...dear gods I was to have a son.  A little Ben.  And he was sacrificed to Coatlicue...my own little one was taken from my womb and given to that hideous bitch.  We took our revenge on her but that didn't matter as the unbearable pain of losing a child flooded into me.  As the tears came I heard Belgaretes say mine and Ben's memories had been split.  A woman came demanding them all but she could not afford them and left with barely half...her name was Alicia Chase.  The second half were in the city, bought recently by Keepers and held in a fortified warehouse...Balor himself paid their price.  Rupper's were in the hands of the Sayters and his father as well as many ghosts.  I vaguly heard the others begin to discuss where we were going to start first when we noticed he had one more thread.  Rhia reached for it and it became red and oily as her body absorbed it.


We left the room and I heard Ben apologize to me for something but I was having a hard enough time keeping myself from breaking down right there.  When we got out Rupper asked about Balor and Wuyi had the oddest look play across her face.  After some prodding she laid another bomb on us...I am pregnant.  My mind realed.  In the memory we had decided no children til the war ended and now...then I heard Rhia say Alicia was Ben's daughter and I felt like a truck had run me over...HIS DAUGHTER?!  My husband was a father before me?  What had happened?  Had he run out on his child?  Would he run out on me?  Did she like me?  All this ran through my mind as fast as I myself run and then I heard Pepper squawk that she hated me... Alicia had been there when I sacrificed Ben, and I felt the pain of that action come crashing back down on me.  Then I heard the last thing I needed to hear...Kelly started giggling.


I exploded leaping off the floor and lunging at her, obsidian dagger in hand and screamed at her asking what in the hells she found so funny.  I tried to slash at her as she explained she was in her own little world AGAIN but was held back by Ben and Wuyi grabbed my wrist.  Ben went into bird song trying to apologize to me and reassure me of his love but I was lost in my pain and fury at that moment and barely registered it as I screamed at Kelly before collapsing onto the floor in sobs and I pounded on the floor.  There was some chatter and Kelly reached her arm around me and I threw her off of me.. literally threw her.  She had no idea what I was feeling...hells I barely knew what I was feeling and she thought somehow SHE out of everyone around me was the one who could help?!  Fuck her.  I don't even count her as a friend all I wanted was to cry and scream it out..just get it out, because keeping it in would surely kill me.  After tossing her off me again and some soft words from Ben, of course, she left so my friends and husband could be there with me.  It was then, after more crying, I decided to tell Wu and Rhia of my first memory...the one I had only told Ben...the one where I sacrificed my husband to my father.


It took a bit but finally managed to get a weak smile out of me by teasing me about getting fat.  Ben was sure Alicia would understand but I know she won't and Rhia claims she will just miss out on a wonderful relationship.  I pulled Rhia to the ground and gave her a hug.  I don't know how I would have dealt with this without her.  She is my rock and while I know my emotions drive her nuts and make her uncomfortable I know she feels the same about me.  She teased Ben a bit about going after Alicia if she's hot but he was too busy apologizing to me again as I hugged him.  I assured him it isn't his fault and that we would get through this and reminded him that we had a little one on the way again...we had to pull through.  I kissed him to take his mind of Rhia pursuing his daughter and Rhia made her usual comment on our love to which she earned my middle finger and Ben pulled me to a drier alcove with a grin I now know all too well as he whispered he loved me then confirmed his smile by kissing my neck which of course drives me wild...and right there in that alcove, in that sewer, with our friends around the corner we connected on a level I could never connect with anyone else on.  He and I are one and I will let nothing tear us apart.

Rhia secures some mobile garbage disposals.

Shortly after I found out the state of things we were all brought to meet the captain.  He seemed pleasant enough till his man left the room at which point he spoke plainly to us and made sure we understood he was not happy about us being there.  He is mistrustful of scions because of the attention we attract and I must say I cannot blame the man.  After our chat we went back to the cabins and Ben and I told the band what we knew of the Formorians posing as Keepers and the state of the world.  It was agreed we should check out the 'special' cargo he was hauling and also agreed we needed to ask him more questions.


At this point Rex went tearing off out of the room and Rhiannon, Wu, and Rupper followed.  Ben and I went to see the captain and Kelly agreed to sit tight and send Sawu to investigate the rest of the ship.  I have to say...I love watching my husband work.  He can detect lies and I could feel him watching for any sign of them as we asked about the cargo and it's intended destination...NYC for the Keepers.  We also found out we may need papers but I think we will manage that.  We told him he had a traitor and he said he trusted his normal crew but did have some new people he would send to Ben for questioning.  


Sure enough within seconds of getting to the cabins Rhiannon and Wuyi and Rupper returned with three crew members right behind them.  In a matter of moments Ben and Rhia had the truth from one of them.  One man inferred the US was under Keeper control and the girl spilled that someone hired her despite her lack of sailing experience if she gave him information about her home...and that someone was Executive Officer Gifford.  Immediately I cast my finding spell and waited for Ben to tell us what to do.  Ben sent me and Wuyi to follow the trail just as Kelly came in....wait Kelly came in, wasn't she here the whole... never mind I had something to do.  Rupper followed us and we left the others to deal with the crew members and Kelly.


The trail brought us back to the holding area of the 'special cargo' of horses.  I let Rupper and Wu get us a way in and sent Cal back to Ben to report where we were.  When we got in the sight was...horrific at first.  Horses were chained to the walls and there was blood everywhere...and many were eating human flesh.  The XO was at the farthest place in the hold and apparently the mortals couldn't perceive the scene.  Then it hit me like a jolt of lightning as I recalled what they were...they were the herd of Diomedes, man eating horses.  When Rhia arrived she began speaking with one and we sent a guard to fetch the captain.  The XO was raving and ranting about his Keeper masters and how he sacrificed them to the horses....and I lost my temper again and punched him in the face.  That word....is sacred.  Sacrificing is not something done lightly or for kicks or a word to be tossed around... apparently this is a sore spot for me.  Then he laughed and said some words and the horses chains fell off.  Rhia shouted to not harm the horses and Wuyi threw the XO at the herd while I pushed Kelly out of the room.  They quickly devoured him and the turned and waited...apparently Rhia is quite the horse-whisperer.  It's a shame we are fighting cause she and I have the perfect set up now.  We make our sacrifices when needed and feed the evidence to the horses.  *sigh* I dearly miss my sister, we need to get past this.

We're on a boat!

Okay so I've not talked much lately about what's happened and I still don't want to discuss it much so here is the overview.  Wuyi lifted Ben's curse in a personal way, and I tried to apologize to Rhia only to have her refuse to apologize to me.  I wasn't looking for her to do so for the act but for the way she treated me and my feelings, but she refused to take any responsibility and further tread on my broken heart so I wrote her off.  The group cannot afford our fighting right now so it would be as if she doesn't exist.  I went to dinner while she and her pet, Wuyi stayed behind talking.  I say pet because that seems to be how Rhia treats her.  She is very condescending to her, not to say Rhia doesn't love her...far from it, but it's not an equal relationship.  


At dinner there was tragedy though as Kathy, accidentally, killed Mona.  As I comforted Mann Ben dragged Kathy outside to kill her but Rhia stopped him.  When Mann came outside he was full of rage but Rhia reminded him of his oath to raise the girl.  Ben stalked off and Mann ordered us off the island so I went to find him.  He had reduced a clearing to rubble and was furious with himself and I felt so heartbroken for him.  We joined the others and went to the shore where we found a man waiting for us.  He seemed to know us and said his employer had him come to collect us and had information for us.  With no other option we agreed to go with him.


Turns out the Greeks did know what we had done and weren't just gonna let us off the hook...that'd be too much to hope for.  Poseidon attacked us with the sea and Zeus the winds as we fought off waves and sharks and finally found a ship to get aid from since our little dinghy had a hole in it (which we sealed by turning Kelly's sand to glass....ok that was pretty awesome!)  We boarded the ship, with permission, only to be faced with guns.  Rhia scared one off and Kelly got the others to calm down until Ben flew up further unsettling them.  In the end no one was hurt and we were shown to cabins where I took some time to confront Ben about being closed off even to me and we consulted Fate again about the state of the world and this ship.  Seems the war isn't over but neither do all the mortals know about it.  Governments are controlled by one side or the other and while this ship is neutral there IS a traitor.  Looks like we have something to earn our passage with...

Some wounds go deeper than memory.

So there we were with a dead hag, sleeping puppy, and injured stallion.  Wuyi, Ben and myself carried the horse back on a slab only for the group to realize we left Rupper singing to Cerberus and the body of the hag could be used for Mann to talk to her spirit.  Also Kathy had been left on the beach.  *sigh*  Rhia, Wuyi, and Kelly went for Kathy, after Ben told Kelly to go with them...I still don't know what is with that girl...and he and I went for the body and Rupper.  I grabbed the hag and we quickly and quietly made our way out of there.  We were doing well until I stepped on a branch and it snapped.  Cerberus awoke and Ben ordered us to run while he distracted Cerberus.  


When we got to Mann he told us his house would be safe so Rupper and I went in only to find the others had not returned.  So I set off to find them and bring them back only to see them standing on the beach with no Kathy...fucking wonderful.Rhia could hear something and I told them about Cerberus...which of course fell on deaf ears yet again...and cast my tracking spell.  The thread of Fate...and Rhia suddenly disappeared.  I stepped forward to follow it and we found a campfire with little people playing music and Kathy dancing.  Wuyi and Kelly followed and one of them stepped up and invited us to dance...but it wasn't an invite it was a compulsion.  I fought it off and started punching the band.  No way in hell was I going to let them compel me to do anything.  Wuyi and Rhia however fell under the spell and were 'dancing'.  Kelly tried talking with the guy but I had finally hit enough of them to get the music to stop, and with it Rhia, Wuyi and Kathy to stop.  Then there was a howl...and another....and another.  Cerberus was coming!  I grabbed Kelly and Wuyi grabbed Rhia and Kathy and we took off.  I zoomed right around him, Wuyi lept over him, and he fell face first into the ground in front of one of the jug players who managed to play enough of a toon to make him sleep.  I didn't care we just kept going and made it to the house the same time Mona was helping a burned Mann in.  And then the fight began.


I honestly do not remember how it started.  We were discussing Kathy and whether she should be brought to life or returned to Cerberus.  It was heated sure but it wasn't ugly at first.  I'm pretty sure I got the first snarky comment in...and it steam rolled from there.  With me snidely commenting on Wuyi and Rhia's whorish activities, and selfish natures.   I asked about Ben's curse being lifted and Rhia said something to the effect of me having to whore myself out and I exploded.  I lunged for her and Wuyi stepped between us I screamed that I was no whore, that I don't sleep with my sister's father, that I sleep with no one but my husband.  Mann did not seem happy that Rhia had slept with my father but she said he knew why she had to and he backed down a little.  I felt my reserves of strength giving out, I could not hold it all in any longer.  I cried then...tears fell as I screamed about how she wasted a question to get in his bed without a single thought for me, her sister.  I trusted her implicitly.  I collapsed to the floor sobbing out everything I had held in.  I couldn't stop, I couldn't move and heard the others leaving to get horses as Mann had told us too but even trying to return to life could not make me move.  I loved Rhia, she was my sister, and yet even now she did nothing but stomp on my heart saying she couldn't break oaths even for me.  Soon Wuyi came back in and tried to comfort me, saying Rhia had to.  Apologizing for them both and saying they didn't know.  I just sobbed that neither even stopped to think how it would effect anyone else.  She tried to blame the lack of memories and Ben came in urging me to rise and deal with this later.  I looked up and I think I saw some disappointment in his gaze so I composed myself as best I could and told Wuyi that Rhiannon cared not for me, so I would try to not care for her.  Kelly game me a hug and I went out to see that Ben and Wuyi had both brought horses for me.  While Wuyi's was pretty, Ben had selected a strong, almost arrogant looking mare that made me smile inside even though I was crying.  She was perfect.  Mann said we would be horses for a day and then awake as human again.  Ben trusted him so I decided to too.  


Ben ad I spent the day running and jumping things and he did his best to keep my mind off the blowup.  When we awoke the next morning we were human again.  I lept into his arms, tackling him to the ground and kissed him with a great hunger I had only felt in a dimmer sense as a ghost.  Eventually I decided to sit down and chat with Fate about why I was reacting as I did to Rhiannon sleeping with my father and found something that may have been better off forgotten.  My mortal father abused and raped my sister and when she left he turned to me.  I asked why Rhiannon "had to do it" and was told she was cursed with promiscuity and to fail in it she would become frail.  It doesn't erase her flippant attitude towards my feelings, nor does it erase the pain of what she did or even excuse it, but at least now I have some reason to it.  I asked if it could be lifted and was answered in the affirmative.  I asked if my parents and sister still lived and was also told yes to those.  I'm not certain how I feel about that.  


At least now I know why I hurt so badly over it all.  Knowing the source hasn't erased any of the pain but at least I don't feel like an overly emotional idiot.  Seems my father named me properly, Xamantalpalli, Broken Wing.  I'm going to talk to Ben now about this. 

Who let the dogs out?

I'm really starting to worry about this wound.  It is refusing to heal and one misstep could kill me.  So Mann had walked in and after some chatter with Rhia told us he could help us...but we needed to do a quest.  He wanted his prized horse back from the smarter than normal wolves.  This seemed easy enough and Rhia made the mistake of saying that out loud....I swear to the gods she needs to learn to put a filter on that mouth!  


Ben noticed my being quiet I guess, because he picked me up and took my outside, flying up into the sky.  I know I should have told him how bad the wound was but for the moment I was enjoying being in his arms with nothing but our birds challenging each other.  He got a little cheesy which made me chuckle softly, and even that made the wound throb.  He let me fly next to him and remarked on me learning one day.  I said maybe, after all I had him for my taxi.  Then he let me dangle from his arms and I pulled myself up to kiss him.  I love this man.  I don't know why, and I have no doubt it took us a while to get to that point before, but I love him, I'd give anything for him.  I remarked the others were ready to go and he brought me down to them, letting me run with them as we got to the trees.


We reached the cave and there were wolves outside guarding it.  It was decided Rupper would cause a distraction since he could talk to them and Ben, Kelly, and Wu would go inside.  I felt a few odd pangs at that.  Normally I'm the one going in, not Kelly and I felt hurt I wasn't included...then I felt a weird pang of...jealousy?  Kelly seemed to be getting closer to Ben as of late what with having her spider follow him so often and giggling at things he said that were not humorous nor meant to be, and now she was going in the cave when she is largely useless in combat since her gun can't do anything.  I mean I know Rupper basically ignored her, and Rhia doesn't want that complication but Ben and I are most certainly exclusive.  I'm no good at reading people...if I ever speak with Rhia again I'll have to get her opinion.


I started to back off into the woods feeling absolutely useless and in the way.  In my state all I was, was a worry for the others, a reason for them to be more careful and less daring.  In no time I heard the wolves fighting each other and assumed the three of them made it in...and then I saw six red eyes, and it wasn't wolves....it was Cerberus!  I panicked and went to tell the others backpedaling right into Rhia.  It took me three times to get her to listen to my words, as usual, that Kelly had indeed seen the dog and he was here.  But the warning was too late as Cerberus stepped into the clearing.  Rex, Rupper's puppy, growled at Cerberus who happened to be his daddy, and was swatted against the tree for his troubles.  I had a moment of terror before dashing off to get the dog to follow me but he grabbed for Rupper and swatted Rhia into the mud before I threw everything I had into insulting him and he finally cam bounding after me, Rupper dangling in two mouths.  I poured my all into running and weaving through the trees and found I was indeed faster.  I sent Cal to tell Ben what was happening and when I saw Ben deciding to come help I told Cal to tell him I had it handled.  I also saw Wu hanging from a kris stuck in a ugly blue hag of a woman.  Rhia grabbed Rupper's guitar and started to play and sing and Rupper joined in and soon Cerberus was asleep.  I tried to pry Rupper out carefully and managed to only wake one head which Rupper quickly put back to sleep.


Suddenly the Hag burst from the cave followed by Ben who flew in front of her and caught her in his gaze and she froze.  Wuyi was hanging on but something was wrong.  She couldn't seem to finish the job.  A rock flew from the cave and hit the hag's knee causing it to buckle and her to fall and the kris to finish her off but not before she cursed my husband.  I really hope it didn't have any weight but I know better than to put too much into that.  Gods I just want to live again.  I want to know why I'm so messed up.

Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?

I think it may be time to re-evaluate things.  So I was bleeding out and Wuyi had put a temporary fix in, and the litter was floating over the ocean.  Ben had already jumped out and I sent Cal after him.  I was worried about him and also felt...a little pissed.  Anyway Rupper dove out and swam to shore while Kelly's spider spun silk around me to lower me down to a raft of water Rhia made to ferry me.  I looked through Cal eye's and saw Ben head for a cottage after Cal told him I was alive, barely but alive.  Ben seemed to not be concerned, but then I don't think either of us realized how bad it was.

The rest of the group headed Ben's way when we heard a loud gunshot.  Looking through Cal's eyes I saw Ben had startled an old woman with a gun and she was screaming in that language Rhia speaks sometimes when she's angry.  I started struggling to get  free, I had to get to Ben and the other's weren't moving fast enough.  Rhia may as well have just slapped me in the face cause she told me to settle down or she'd tell me details of her night with my father.  I had almost forgotten that in all that had happened and now felt myself wishing to tear her heart out again.  I glared at her (now wasn't the time to fight with her on THAT event) and fought to get out.  Ben needed us.  There was another shot as she fired directly at his feet and then aimed at his chest.  When we arrived Ben had backed off and the woman recognized Rhia.

Turns out Rhia is her step-daughter and we had made it to Mann's home.  She took us in and Rupper stitched me up and gave me some pain pills.  I know something is bothering him about me or us, but I couldn't ask him about it here.  We were eating some wonderful stew while Rhia and Mona talked when a horse screamed and Cal and Pepper informed us that giant wolves were attacking the herd.  Ben ordered me to stay put and my blood boiled at having to sit out but I knew this wound was much worse than any other I had ever suffered because...it wasn't healing.  All the wounds I had taken up till now had healed in the first few minutes or at least started healing in a couple hours but this...there wasn't even the barest of tingles indicating healing, and that scared me.

I didn't look to see what was going on outside but I could hear Rupper growling and barking at the wolves and them growling back.  I paced a little and sat down again when a wolf crashed through the front door and tried to eat me...but he passed through me and bit the couch.  Seeing I was safe from their attacks I rushed to the kitchen for a knife, remembering my own weapons would not work, and lept onto his neck only to find, despite my amazing strength, I was having trouble getting through it's hide.  No matter, I put the knife in my mouth, wrapped my hands in a blanket from the couch and proceeded to pry his jaws open.  Looking at the soft tissue I almost jammed the knife down his throat but then a thought settled on me.  He had invaded my sister's home....so I ripped his lower jaw off and dropped him to the floor.

The others came in then and Rhia noticed I had ripped my stitches open.  I held the wound until Rupper came in and restitched it as Ben hovered over me... literally.  Ben was flying.  I told him I wanted a ride and I could see the worry etched on his face when he promised he would when I was better.  He went to look out the window, explaining he was just restless...but I know him, or at least I feel I do.  Something else is on his mind.  I wonder if he regrets any of this...*head shake* Then I heard someone outside walking through the pasture with a cane.  Ben did too and we both told the group at the same time...as sappy as this will sound he and I really are right for each other.  After Ben confronted the person we found it to be Mann, returning from searching Rhia out. 

I really hope Rhia is right in thinking he will help us.  I really thought my father would help us, he even seemed to elude to the fact he would...but look how that turned out.  I really think we need to be weary of Mann, and any other god we meant from now on.  Assumptions only make an ass out of you after all.

Can the dead kill themselves?

Do you have any idea how hard it is to walk around with emotions and reactions to things and yet not know WHY you have them?  I do.  It's a bitch, let me tell you.


So after a nap and more time exploring my husband, I fell back asleep only to awaken to a servant holding a dress made of gold coins.  I was the daughter of the leader of the Atzlanti after all, and was expected to dress like one while in m father's house.  The dress irritated me but inside I felt the urge to please him...I needed his approval somehow, so on it went and I made my way to the Basin where my father's re-birthing ritual was taking place.  I could see the sacrifice, even though willing, of a human was bothering some of them...especially Wuyi, and knew there would be much I would be hiding from them.  As he stepped forward I could see there would be trouble ahead.  Wuyi and Rhia were staring at him like they were gonna offer themselves to him right there and as the thought of Rhia and m father crossed m mind I felt my gut twist in revulsion and betrayal.  Where in the hell did that some from?  I thought.  I mean my father is god, and is only a father in the biological sense of the word. 


I pushed it down as best I could and we went to a private room for a little question swapping.  He told us he would not restore us, that we were to stay here forever and I felt my anger boil.  I wanted to LIVE gods damn it all!  I want to remember what happened to me and know why I am little more than a ball of rage and pain yearning for someone to give a damn.  The others asked questions that I admit I aid little attention to until I heard Rhiannon ask to grace my father's bed.


In that moment I felt a multitude of things happen inside me...the loudest of which was my heart breaking.  I felt utterly horrified and betrayed by the one person I let close enough to me to call sister.  I felt utter rage at her and my father when he offered to bed her for eternity if she stayed here.  I felt like screaming and crying all at once and was powerless to do anything more than walk away...so I did.  I walked off not wanting to be anywhere near the whore and Huitzilopotchli.  He opened the door as I left and told me not to disappoint him.  That I had made him very proud up until now and urged me not to rebel.  Well fuck that.  I wanted, no needed to get out of here.  I couldn't stand it any longer.  Before I left I asked why we could not return and after answering another question from him he told us because our story had ended...and if we took back our life then Fate would repeat itself...and countless more would die.  Then Ben did something I never expected...he challenged my father.  Not in a dual sense but challenged his words.  Ben accused him of lying essentially...saying we could change Fate and that it was some other reason Huitzilopotchli wanted us here.  He became very angry and ordered us to leave his presence though not the grounds, but stopped Rhiannon and Wuyi.  They were to join his bed it seemed...and they were still eager to do so.  I called it like I saw it with the utmost restraint I called them whores and left.  Screw this shit I was going to find a way out of here with or without them.


After walking about for some time I finally cast my spell and it split to the wall of fire, the carriage we arrived on and the Well-Bronzed-Man who, after some thought, I realized was Painsal a lesser god who grudgingly serves my father.  After some talking and pleading I convinced him to help us leave here.  I sent Cal for Ben and he returned telling me he, Rupper and a firebird were on their way.  Shortly after Rhiannon, Wuyi, and Kelly came up to us.  I decided my best bet was to ignore them both.  They don't exist cause if they don't then what they did doesn't either.  Besides I could not trust myself to not do something I would later regret.  Turns out the firebird was a Phoenix Rupper rescued from my father.  I stroked the bird being the only one immune to it's fire and immediately felt a kindred spirit in the bird.  Rupper will have a friend for life in her.  We all climbed in and Painsal set us off rocky at first but it smoothed out eventually and he revealed that though my father understands the importance of sacrifice there was one he could not make...us.  He instead offered us eternal opulence rather than kill us and ensure 'Kathy' was not released again.  He also told us to surpass my father he would sacrifice us and disapated into embers letting the litter plummet from space towards earth.


We kept falling and Kelly began praying to her mother, trying to take control of the litter and Rupper asked if we had any other ideas to which I could only think of one thing to do as Kelly's prayers seemed to be unanswered.  I pulled out my knife and began my own prayer begging my father to forgive my rebellion, promising him I would serve him as the dutiful daughter I once was.  I pleaded and begged for him to save my friends, my family and in return I would give him the greatest sacrifice yet, greater even then when I gave him my husband...I plunged my knife into my heart and gave myself to him.  I vaguely remember the phoenix flying out of the litter and grabbing it, of Rhia screaming my name, Wuyi hitting points on my body and a surge through me, Ben's face etched in worry as he begged me to live and all I could say before passing out was that I loved him and was sorry.  When I passed out I saw my father fighting with thousands of warriors against the darkness.  He suddenly sensed me and his head snapped in my direction in surprise as the massive darkness slashed at him and killed him.  He had heard but would not be able to help until his rebirth.  I awoke briefly to hear Wuyi pleading with me to heal myself but even if I could I simply did not have the will to.  I told Cal to find Ben when I noticed he was gone and drifted back to the blackness that was bereft of any complications...

Rest at last...and surprises.

Today was simultaneously stressful and one of relief.  So where were we...oh yes.  The human who changed his mind.  


Once again I had to repeat myself 5 times that we needed to find a safe place to discuss the situation...my band however insisted on not using common sense and standing about talking about it in this office while these Keepers closed in.  Finally the others left and I turned to Reginald.  He was a loose end, we had told him where the cave was and he was going to tell the Keepers about us...but he could still serve a purpose.  Before they left I let Rhia know my thoughts and she agreed which made me even more secure in my decision.  I began the prayer and shoved my obsidian knife into him only to have it go through him.  Curse this being dead shit!  My anger and frustration at everything boiled over and I snatched a letter opener off the desk and started again.  This time it bit in and with a little force and a lot of blood I worked his heart out and watched as the ritual seemed to work...confirmed by an eagle call that did not come from Cal.  Rhia came in in time to see the blood flake off into the wind and hear the call and we left heading up.  


We found Ben and Kelly but apparently Rupper and Wu went another way. *sigh*breath in*breath out*  Ben sent Pepper to look for them as Cal scouted outside, and it wasn't long before Pepper screeched she was trapped.  We headed quickly to her as Rhia babysat Kathy who was mimicking a statue of the Aztec titan, Coatlicue.  Cal reported there was less Keepers out front and that they did not see him.  After Rhia promised her a reward if she moved we were finally headed out, meeting up with Wuyi and Rupper on our way.  After yet another discussion we made our way out, unseen by the Keepers and headed to the cave.  Something was bothering Rupper but to be honest now was not the time to stop and ask about it.  We needed to close that cave.


Once we arrived we saw spirits leaving it and then a breeze and a voice came from the cave asking about his brother...and I knew it was Thanatos asking about Hypnos.  The more we talked the harsher the wind became as Thanatos became more an more angry.  It was literally cutting at all nearby, flaying the spirits and opening cuts on the others.  Wuyi had enough and ran down the tunnel and I began to pray, pleading with my father to aid us.  On the horizon there was what looked like a heat shimmer but quickly became apparent someone was coming.  I took up a defensive stance as it approached, unsure of who it would be but gasped in surprise and fell to my knees when I saw it was my father.  Rupper and Rhia followed Wuyi and as my father stopped in front of us a protective barrier sprung forth around us.  I arose and my father greeted us though he was not pleased to see us.  The short of it?  We had sacrificed ourselves to seal in a titan (we knew this) and were not in our own afterlives because we were to guard in vigil over said titan...but we were give Lethe water by Joshua somehow and forgot our Duty. A white hot rage surged though me at this thought.  I had been tricked out of my sacred duty.  A duty I had given all for.  I swore to my father then that if he helped return us to life I would take Epimetheus heart in sacrifice for him...it would be one of my greatest offerings to him.  And then he dropped a bomb referring to Ben as my husband.  My HUSBAND!?  I'm married!?  I was shocked and just stood there...Ben must have known cause he had asked me earlier to talk with him alone...but there was no time to process this.  Father said to go help our friends and return before the sun set. At his orders I snapped out of it and dashed down the tunnel.  Inside it felt good to hear an order from him...it had been so long. 


At the shore of the Lethe, Rhia was controlling the water to hurl the strings out, presumably to give back to Hypnos.  Both Rupper and Kelly touched his memories and briefly channeled them taking up more time than I had patience for.  As the two of them ranted I went to the boulder and Wuyi and Ben joined me in shoving it back in place. We all squeezed through the holes made by Ben earlier and as we ran for the surface I saw the light fading to almost nothing.  Luckily we made it just in time and Father had a litter waiting to take us with him.  We all climbed wearily in and Father told Rhia her blood was always welcomed.  If I weren't so tired from everything I would have rolled my eyes but even that was too much effort at the time.  Father took us to his realm and looking at it I had a sense of knowing where everything was but of course no memories of it at all.


A pair of servants stepped forward and offered to take us to the royal chambers but I needed to get away from the group to talk to Ben.  I strode by them, Ben in hand, and went to where I knew was our room.  I told them to leave us alone until called for.  Ben told me about his memory...one of our wedding and he was having a hard time searching his feelings.  I admit I am not much better at that but on the trip here I examined my own.  I told him I knew that his presence is soothing to me and his touch both calms and excites me. I told him of killing Reginald and of my own memory to be sure he understood what he had married.  Blessedly though it did not matter.  He said he feels protective of me, more so than the others, but was worried about emotions being weakness.  I told him it wasn't weakness, it made us human, made us alive, and pointed out I had been able to set my feelings aside once to do what was needed.  I reached for his cheek and he caught my wrist asking what the others would think.  I pointed out they approved before and we were already married.  We had not even parted in death.  Then he asked how we could be sure that bond was still there and I did the first thing that came into my head..I leaned in and kissed him, and to my ever lasting relief he kissed me back.  and without going into detail we found our rhythm again reintroduced ourselves to each other as man and wife.  We lay in bed for many minutes afterward, a sense of belonging settling into me and seeming to heal wounds I did not know I had.  I turned to him and looked into his eyes as I whispered against his lips the words I knew to be true "I love you."  And my heart sang for joy when he returned the sentiment.


After some hours we left the room to find Rhia and Wuyi reclining at the feast table.  She wanted details of course and Ben teased her a bit before I introduced her to the one person more important to me than her, my husband.  She was speechless, which was nice for once, and when she recovered we told her about the wedding which was a mix of Aztec and Egyptian customs to which bother our fathers attended.  When Wuyi fell asleep there was more serious talk when Kelly arrived, but she too fell asleep against Rhia and I was tiring as well...between the physical wear and tear and even more the EMOTIONAL wear and tear I was exhausted and fell asleep in my husbands arms...that's going to take time to get used to, husband...but I'm up for the challenge.

We can't seem to catch a break

So here we all are, standing in this dark ass cave with a lute that has six glowing strings.  I pull mine and Ben's off and hand him his before passing the lute to the others.  I don't understand some of the other's need to stand around and prattle on about things when there are pressing matters to attend to...like becoming alive again.  The strings did nothing by touch and Ben seemed to have found a way out but it was blocked by a boulder.  Prometheus confirmed it was how we needed to leave and Ben asked for my spear.  After I handed it to him he began to whack off large chunks of it to make it lighter.  Then he, Prometheus, and I pushed while Wuyi used her spear as a lever and started to move.  Suddenly Kelly said she was seeing her memory after eating her string and I stopped as the boulder rolled free.  Seeing her stand there obviously seeing something I quickly unwound my string and ate it....


...and gods above and below I wish I hadn't.  As I watched it unfold it took all my strength to remain standing; I just could not believe what I was seeing.  I tried to believe it wasn't me in that memory...it had to be someone else but then I heard my father's voice...and I could not deny the validity of what he said that day, hells he had said it when he visited me.  All I could do was stand there saying "NO" over and over again like it would change what I did.  Finally everyone had eaten their strings and we were moving out of there.  If I never see Hades realm again it will be too soon.


As we climbed the tunnel out the ground became soggier and harder to get through and a sharp pain thudded against my chest.  The further we got the weirder the sensation became.  It felt like thousands of fire ants crawling over my skin and we soon reached a membrane stretched across a cave opening.  Prometheus, his brother, and Kathy walked through without a problem but when we went through it tore open.  I didn't give two shits because we were standing on real grass!  Overlooking a city.  I fell to the ground and kissed the grass, so relieved to be free of Hades and alive...


...well almost.  Rhia broke the news that we weren't alive yet.  Prometheus and his brother left saying he owed us a boon but staying together would bring down wrath on our heads we did not deserve; I could not have agreed more, and after more useless chatter we headed for town.  Once there we found we were in Naples, which I think is in Italy. Wuyi insisted on getting clothes even though no one could see is...they walked through us!  We really were ghosts.  I sighed my last hope fleeing my body at that point.  


We went in the clothing store and Wuyi grabbed pants and a shirt...apparently those don't turn incorporeal like us cause people started reacting....which made Wuyi start doing more stupid things attracting attention.  I'd had enough and walked back outside.  I was so frustrated, worried and a feeling of hopelessness was settling in.  Damn it why couldn't I brush these off like usual!?  Why was THIS the first feeling that seemed to linger for more than a moment?  Suddenly a man was hurrying down the street and he looked me right in the eye!  He SAW me!  


I called after him and stopped him asking if he truly saw me to confirm and he said yes.  I asked if he could help us and Ben joined us giving the man a start. We explained there were a group of us and we all needed help.  He agreed and Ben went to find the others.  He came back with the others, Rhia carrying Wuyi for whatever reason and as we were about to make introductions eight foot tall things in shining armor turned the corner...Rhia confirmed what we all guessed, they were bad news and we all hurried after the man who claimed he could help.


We reached his office and he told us they were Keepers...they made sure everyone followed the laws and I would guess that ghosts were against the law. He asked how long we were dead and we seemed to come to the consensus of dying around 2011...it was now 2017.  Then he asked what we wanted, saying ghosts always wanted something before they passed on...then it hit him.  We weren't ghosts we were specters and somehow that was worse and he no longer wanted to help us.  Rhia got him to stand still and I felt myself regain some of my usual composure as I threatened to take his heart.  He told us if we found our bodies and sacrificed a living person, a life for a life, we could become alive again.  I was fine with this and some of the other were fine so long as it was a criminal,but Kelly says she couldn't do it.  Fine.  Ben and I talked about trying to find consensus in the group so we explored other options.  Creating Shabti to posses, possessing the living, finding books, and contacting Rhia's dad.  All were gonna take a lot of work it seems...and finding our bodies may be the toughest since all I know was we died in a tower of some sort.


In the middle of the talking Kathy pushed against a window and it shattered...damn them for making us a take her out of there...revealing a man outside who was possessed.  Shit we let others out too.  Rupper translated his screaming and it only confirmed what I thought.  Why in the hell can't we do anything right?  Maybe we should just give in and go back...but then why was an Aztlanti daughter in the GREEK underworld?  Why was I not in Mictalan if not with my father?  No Hades was not where I belonged anyway.  As I turned back Reginald had started to try to dial on a cell phone and Rhia made him drop it.  Thoroughly pissed now I lept at him and brought my spear to his neck demanding he tell us about the Keepers.  Turns out the Keepers are "aliens" who came through flashes of light saying humans were the first species they encountered.  They keep the laws, some of which have changed, and can cure the blind.  Those that break the law are not seen from again though.


So here we are stuck between a rock and a hard place.  I think we need to find a place to lay low for a moment and discuss the best course of action but I am also rapidly running out of patients and I know one way that could get MY father's attention...

Common sense isn't as common as I'd like...

So we decided to try for Hypnos' cave.  After all we wanted out of here and we wanted our memories too.  I have to tell you I am getting thoroughly sick and tired of not being heard.  I don't know if it's some people's lack of intelligence or lack of common sense or just an unwillingness to try to see things from a perspective other than their own but I am getting tired of it.  I refused to move on till we figured out more about Kathy so I pulled out my leather bound book and asked Fate some questions.


First: Who is Kathy really? *A shabti created by Ben* Second: Why did he create her? *to be an avatar for  greater titan* Third: Is she the evil we imprisoned? *yes* Fourth: Did Ben create her for the greater good? *yes* Fifth: Does she still have the potential to channel and be controlled by the titan? *EMPHATICALLY YES!* (by this I mean my book started to smoke and had I not been immune to fire, I would have been burned.)


And yet even with all that Wuyi still has a flippant attitude toward the whole thing and Rhia was advocating bringing her along...suggesting she could be an ally.  But the thing is once that titan claims her it won't matter how much she likes us...he/she will control her.  THEN Wuyi compares the evil titan to Prometheus.  Prometheus is a titan by birth and was condemned by Zeus because he helped man...if not for him humans would not be where they are.  If anything he was a victim of Zeus throwing a hissy fit just like the Greeks are prone to do...nothing more.  I'm not saying he is a good guy, I don't know him and have not asked Fate about him, but I certainly wouldn't start off by calling him evil.


Ben was silent through all this, internalizing it all I'm sure, so I got his attention to get him to step in.  He's our leader and he needed to do something.  Mean while Wuyi was trading her pants for her jacket to Kathy, basically ignoring my warnings as usual and writing me off like I was some less than interesting toy. And what Ben said next made my heart sink.  He said we should keep her, because she is his responsibility.  What in the hells was going on?  Had they all lost their minds?  He apologized and I told him to fuck off...I didn't want his apology.  He said it wasn't personal and he's right it wasn't, it was about doing the gods damned sensible thing.  We should drop her in one of these rivers and never look back.  He worried she would get free but gods there are fire rivers and geysers everywhere!  We could easily find out if she was immune to fire like me and if not drop her in and she'd burn to crisp...problem solved.  Rhia told me to grow a heart and it was the first time I wanted to punch my best friend.  GROW A HEART?!  SHE IS THE EVIL WE LOCKED UP!!! She should be killed before she remembers anything!  Then she argued we should lock Ben in cause he might go evil "again", I hate when people argue the preposterous against reality.  It's dumb and a sign of a bad arguer.  I told her Fate already clarified he was working for the greater good and pointed out we locked her in her and by extension some of the titan's power, and they were suggesting we bring it into the world with us. To which I got another lame argument "Oh you're right.  We should trust the creepy book.  My bad."  SERIOUSLY?!  Gods above and below Rhia it's FATE.  I ask her questions she answers them truthfully.  Just because you don't like the method I channel her does not make her answers less true.  I finally had had it with them all and gave in, obviously out voted and walked off to cool down so I didn't attack my friends.  Ben came over and tried to plead his case but I was done talking about it.  He asked about the coins and I told him there were seven left.


After more discussion on the Ferryman we headed out with Ben in the lead and I took the rear, too distracted by my anger to pay as close attention as was needed to lead.  Kelly apparently took some of Rupper's drugs cause I found my time occupied by babysitting her as we went along.  When we reached the river Ben rang the bell.  As soon as the Ferryman came I took my coin, tossed the bag at Ben, and lept on the boat handing the Ferryman the coin.  The others followed and Prometheus stepped up and snapped the Ferryman's neck and tossed him in the river explaining he wanted none of the wrath for that to fall on us, thus he waited for us to pay.  I like him, a coolly logical person so far...no wonder Zeus hated him.


Rhia took the oar and shoved us off and the river turned from easy and calm to rapids.  Rhia expertly got us through them and we soon found ourselves rushing towards a cave with stalactites and stalagmites making it look like a maw of stone teeth.  Ben fired at some and I hurled my spear at other giving us a hole to go through and Kelly's spider spun a web to help absorb some of the impact as well as released her sand to aid us.  We made it through and were plunged into darkness...yay.  I couldn't see but Rhia helped me aim my throws at more rock in the way as went through the tunnel and we suddenly plunged off another waterfall and dropped straight down into the river.


We awoke on a beach before a golden castle with no sign of Prometheus and his brother.  I tried to track them with my magic and was greeted with a resounding NO.  At first I thought it may be Pluto's castle as Prometheus mentioned it before, and then we noticed Kathy speaking perfect English...great she was starting to remember.  The others started chattering about utter nonsense and I tuned them out as we headed to the castle which had the sounds of a party coming from it. When we entered there was a large table with people feasting, rooms with different types of music, and people gathered about a 10yr old playing video games.  He one a game against his brother who turned out to be a mummified corpse...and then I knew we were starring at Lord Hypnos and his brother Thanatos.  It was one of those times again where common sense should have kicked in.  The others were quipping and commenting like they weren't standing before a god...one that could blink us out of existence should he so desire.  I asked to see his piles ignoring the others and he showed me to them.  I cast my tracking spell and was surprised to have it lead me to a lute player back in the main room...one of the strings on the lute was MY memory.  A stab of pain laced into my heart and I was even more sure it was mine.  He said I could not have it, as he takes the est memories and strings his instruments with them, so I focused on trying to find others only to discover NONE were here.  I tried Ben's with the same result...I was certain that lute's strings were all a memory from each of us.  Rupper asked about a trade and Hypnos said he would trade him for his relic guitar.  Wuyi threatened Hypnos and another white hot lash of pain tore into me causing me to gasp and nearly double over as Rupper started to play, seeming to entrance Hypnos!  I snatched the lute and he didn't resist...instead he raced to the Lethe and began drinking gulp after gulp of the water!  As he drank and drank though the world around us began to crumble and shake and twist!  Kathy suddenly broke open to reveal something horrible as it seemed to be releasing something evil into the world again....and then we woke up.  On the shore.  Prometheus and Joshua with us as well as a mummified corpse and a 10 year old boy face down in the river, and in my hand the golden lute and six silver strings...